13 Optimal Aging Secrets You Should Know
On AGING (aging in place)
Aging in Place
Mike Waters is a friend and long-time colleague in the field of aging. He is now associated with a new concept in wellness-aging called Fitness Over Fifty. This association affords Mike a rich network of older adults who are living the kind of lives that do justice to what’s been called “The Longevity Dividend.” This email exchange between Mike and an 80 year old woman needed to be shared because it hits on so many of the gerontological concepts privileged by those of us working to change the conversation around aging. I will highlight in bold the themes and summarize them. Please enjoy this content-rich message from someone who is truly aging well:
And Michael, you know I always like to create new names for transitional stages of life. After celebrating my 80th, I noticed that there was still a lot of disbelief among classmates and friends about how our ”well’ bodies could become so ‘different’….and that we sometimes felt betrayed by our bodies (reality being that we betrayed our bodies in most instances). We were still doing too much complaining and were deterred by it all at times. By the way, I have 3 years post brain surgery as of today, still active and also care taking______(name), and my sister and I can celebrate 45 years of being non-smokers.
But being a curious lifelong learner, I started calling my 90 year old friends who are still living fruitful and grateful lives…yet know most of them must have aches, pains, and issues just from the aging process. Yet, they talked more about life, travel, love and new experiences rather than aches and pains and what they can no longer do. They said they are so grateful to have made it to90that they are through with complaining and fighting the process. They are in acceptance. Yet if we are honest, we all need one friend or family member that we can gripe, complain and laugh at ourselves every so often…in other words, I still have not met a perfect person…guess they all ascended.
Very non-professional interviewing as I only interviewed non-complainers and women who are life long learners. All of them still enjoy humor and laughter…Sooooo, my name for living in the 80’s stage is “RENEGOTIATING with SELF into the ACCEPTANCE STAGE“. Example, I still like to mow my own lawn with a non propelled mower. Yet the only area I have arthritis is in my right hand, and holding the mower handle can aggravate it. Since I now am looking for ways to keep my hands mobile and to continue doing my numerous projects that give me satisfaction and sense of purpose, I have accepted the fact, and renegotiated with myself that I will still get to mow the front lawn and delegate the big back yard mowing to professionals or my grandchildren…if I can catch them.
With this technique, I can continue to thrive rather than just survive. I remember my mother was told by a few people in Corvallis that ‘women don’t mow the lawn’, but she mowed the lawn into her late 70’s and my Dad into his 90’s. I laughed when Mom said,“Some people prefer taking medications for anger/stress….I just mow the lawn”.
Being retired is great because I can conduct non-scientific studies, say what I want, and still not lose my job! Will continue to enjoy how you all in the wellness field are renegotiating HOW and WHO you best can serve at this time in your lives…keep up the purposeful work. Respectfully, ________(her name).
Summary/Unpack Critical Gerontology Themes
1)Life-course Perspective
…”like to create new names for transitional stages of life.”
2) Activity Theory of Aging 3) Service to Others 4)Compressing Morbidity
…”still active and also care taking______(name), and my sister and I can celebrate 45 years of being non-smokers.”
5)Life Long Learning (staying curious)
…”But being a curious lifelong learner…”
6) Growth Mindset / Resist Biomedicalization of Aging
…”Yet, they talked more about life, travel, love and new experiences rather than aches and pains and what they can no longer do.”
7) Gratitude
…”grateful to have made it to 90.”
8) Social Capital
…”we all need one friend or family member…”
9) Self-Awareness
…”RENEGOTIATING with SELF into the ACCEPTANCE STAGE.”
10) Environmental Press / Ecological Theory of Aging
…”I still like to mow my own lawn with a non propelled mower.”
11) Inter-dependence (versesIndependence)
…”delegate the big back yard mowing to professionals or my grandchildren…if I can catch them.”
12) Selective Optimization with Compensation Theory
…“Some people prefer taking medications for anger/stress….I just mow the lawn.”
13) Late Freedom Theory
“Being retired is great because I can conduct non-scientific studies, say what I want, and still not lose my job! “
This was a remarkable message sent to my colleague Mike Waters. It is a concise and eloquent summation of “Successful Aging” and I suggest the readers mindfully read over her words and incorporate them into your life–for an optimal experience of growing older.
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