(photo blog.silive.com)

Courage is the power to let go of the familiar.

-Raymond Lindquist

My wife and I have been considering moving to a new city across the river. We’ve been investing weekends in the new neighborhood; making the emotional move before the physical one.

We fell in love with the location of a 1922 classic home described as having; beautiful oak floor entry and French doors. The outside of the house was lovely and stirred the fire of our desires…We wanted that house in the worst way (pay full-price worst way).

Trojan Horse (or House)

The Trojan horse has become synonyms with being fooled by appearances. The Greeks attacked Troy for ten years and failed to penetrate the city’s defenses. Employing a new strategy, they pretended to retreat—leaving behind a huge wooden horse (filled with Greek heroes). The Trojans, despite warnings, were so enticed by the structure that they moved the horse inside the city as a war trophy.

The following night, the Greeks exited the wooden horse and attacked the unsuspecting-celebrating Trojans—Troy was finally conquered from within.

The mistake the Trojans made was in not knowing what perils lie just beyond the provocative wooden surface…

Once inside this “Classic” home we quickly assessed the issues that lie in-wait for the next buyer—the house was a money pit. Luckily we weren’t unsuspecting and celebrating, in fact, we sobered up real quick.

Letting Go of the Familiar

Viewing our home through the filter of a prospective buyer, I was going over all the “selling points” on a run today. I began to realize how much there is to lose by moving; central location to shops, park at the end of the block, Starbucks within walking distance, golf course near by, Trader Joes and 24hr Fitness down the street, mint move-in condition, great neighbors who are friends (and have keys to the house) and on and on… 

Moving the Elderly 

With moving comes the tendency to think about the known losses and the memories. This can make the task daunting at any age—even more so for the elderly who have had a longer time to create history in one location.

To make the transition easier many companies now offer senior move managers who specialize in moving older adults. These professionals have backgrounds in gerontology, nursing, social work, and psychology. And understand the emotional, physical, and spiritual elements unique to relocating seniors. With catchy names like helpinghandsontheway.com in Northbrook, Illinois whose mission statement says:

“It is our purpose and privilege in helping our clients to seek relief through simplifying and repurposing their possessions and home.”

And gentletransitions.com out of the Minneapolis-St. Paul, Twin Cities area who boasts:

“Nationally regarded pioneer in the delicate act of senior move management.”

Or my favorite: Smooth Mooove Senior Relocation Services from Stone Mountain, Georgia. President and CEO, Adrienne Simpson started the company after a frustrating experience with moving an elderly family member.

Senior Relocation Services

Senior Move Specialists are licensed with organizations such as the National Association of Senior Move Managers who can help with the seemingly overwhelming list of things to do:

• Develop a moving plan
• Sort personal belongings to keep, sell, and or donate
• Pack belongings
• Hire and supervise movers
• Help plan the new space with universal design for aging in place
• Unpack and get settled in new space
• Manage the sell of the old home
• Clean, un-clutter and remove/dispose of waste
• Or help with aging in place rather than moving

It’s my contention that moving every 7 years is good for the soul. When you have to put your hands on all your worldly possessions at least twice, it forces one to “seek relief through simplifying and repurposing their possessions and home”–and how!

See: 

Senior Move Manager can be reached at 877-606-2766.

Senior RealEstate Specialists (SRES) 

 Washington Post: Making it

(photo chatterbox.typepad.com)

The longer I live, the more beautiful life becomes.

-Frank Lloyd Wright

I once wrote that inspiration is like rain, it falls on everyone; some shield themselves with an umbrella, failing to take heed; still others run in doors, avoidance all together—then there are those who walk freely amongst the pour, sensing every drop and giving reverence. 

The word “inspiration” comes from the ancients who believed that a breath of divinity is received from the gods by some deserving soul. The key word here is, “deserving.”

Diane and Jay Plesset are just such deserving souls, as they were chosen by the gods one fateful day in November, 1999. On a trip from the Bay Area to Portland; to be with her mother who had undergone emergency bypass surgery, Diane came upon a small ad in an airline magazine that would change the course of their lives—and save an iconic structure for history.

Airline Magazine Ad: Gordon House For Sale 

Occupied with the thoughts of her mother, Diane picked up an in-flight magazine; perusing it she discovered an ad for the sale of the Gordon House in Oregon. A lifetime fan of Frank Lloyd Wright, Diane tore out the ad and tucked it away in her purse—at that moment, like lightening to the rod, the gods had planted the seed of desire.

Author Robert Grudin noted that to be inspired is to surrender one’s mind to a new force, heedless and powerful—abandoning oneself to an irresistible flow, like a canoeist drawn into the main channel of a rapid.

The Journey

Within several weeks Diane had made contact with officials and traveled back to see the Gordon House in Oregon. Doing their research the Plessets found the Gordon House and property had been sold to a couple who planned to tear down the iconic structure and rebuild on the property.

Over the course of the next year came an endless litany of calls to concerned parties, meeting with attorneys, county commissioner’s hearings with standing room only, petitions, and input from around the world on what the Gordon House fate should be.  

Finally, in early December of 2000, an arrangement was made with the Frank Lloyd Wright Building Conservancy to purchase the Gordon House for $1 in exchange for tax credit from the State of Oregon.

Diane and Jay were given the right of first refusal to buy because of their efforts in trying to save the house from demolition.

The Evergreen House: “Do you think it’s time for plan B?”

Passing through the front-door threshold of the Evergreen Home is literally stepping into someone else’s dream…

The Frank Lloyd Wright inspired home of the Plessets is not a dream denied—rather it is what the gods entrusted (win-win solution) and intended all along.

With deadlines approaching and impenetrable restrictions by the FLWBC, the original goal of buying the Gordon House, moving it to a purchased lot and living happily ever after became out of reach…Jay asked Diane: “Do you think it’s time for plan B?”

Diane says, “After many fortunate experiences, and numerous challenges, “Evergreen” was finally completed on a site in Oregon City, Oregon, in October, 2007, which is only 25 miles from the Gordon House, now located in the Oregon Garden, in Silverton.”  

Aging in Place: Award Winning Design

On January 31, 2009, “Evergreen” won the Home Builders Association Excellence Award for Best New Home in its Category. The home is built with aging in place/universal design, and sustainable design features; because the Plessets want this dream to last. And they know great things have no fear of time…

See 

The Gordon House

The Oregon Garden

The Evergreen Home

The Survival Guide: Home Remodeling by Diane Plesset, CMKBD, NCIDQ #13029, C.A.P.S.

1957 Interview of Frank Lloyd Wright

Silverton, Oregon

Frank Lloyd Wright designed this home for Conrad and Evelyn Gordon for their farm on the Willamette River in Wilsonville, Oregon. The ‘T’ shaped home was constructed in 1963 primarily using concrete block solid wall sections, heated and colored concrete floors, cedar and glass. The house is the only building designed by the famed architect in Oregon and is of significant importance. With the sale of the property in 2000 and the purposed demolition of the house, it became necessary to salvage and move the structure.

The project involved determining the best strategies for salvage, moving, reconstruction within a very short time line and coordinating work with an assembled group of assisting professionals. Many portions of the building were able to be preserved intact. Other elements were preserved and fitted to new construction that was built to match the original. Some updating was unobtrusively installed including floor heating, electrical, security, insulation and seismic reinforcement. The house was moved to the Oregon Garden and sited in a similar manner as the original. The house is now open to the public as a resource to be enjoyed by all.

(photo obviousmag.org: taj mahal)

You never know what is enough, until you know what is more than enough.

-William Blake, Proverbs of Hell

The other morning I went to the cupboard for some cereal and found two boxes, each containing less than 1/3 of the original contents; the boxes were taking up scarce shelf space.

Next, the UPS delivery guy arrived with a package large enough to house several pounds of French roast: Yet the box was feather light (?).

Opening the box I discovered two titanium “sporks” which I had ordered for backpacking; each packaged side-by-side like a “spooning” couple. They appeared hurriedly wrapped in brown paper and stuffed into a box four times the size needed.

This got me thinking about Space Utilization…

Seniors Over-Housed

Across the country seniors find themselves still living in suburbia in four-bedroom houses where they once raised families. Many of the homes have maintance issues and access to shopping, recreation, and health care centers are a challenge if they no longer drive. They may also be keeping younger people from acquiring suitable homes for raising growing families.

A past article from the Wall Street Journal describes how aging in place keep houses off the market. Real-estate broker Adrienne Chadwin in Larchmont, N.Y., north of New York City, reports in her area less than 10 homes are added to the market each week, even though the district has more than a hundred families waiting to buy. “Older people are supposed to be leaving these big houses, and one would expect that in this high-priced market, where sellers are calling the shots, they’d be doing it, but for some reason they’re not,” she says.

The article quotes a Mr. Veneziano (baby boomer) as an example,who prefers aging in place to moving. He likes being able to walk to his son’s house, and  besides, economics argues against a move. Although he could make plenty of money selling his house — he bought it for a price “in the low” $20,000s and now it is appraised at about $350,000 — home values have soared so much he feels it would be hard to find anything comparable for a decent price. Considering the advantages of staying put, he asks, “Where am I going to move to?”

FabCab = Fabulous Cabin

Award winning architect Emory Baldwin may have an answer for Mr. Veneziano (and others like him) which he would have never even considered—and it might be more than enough for his needs.

FabCabs are pre-fabricated environmentally-friendly accessory dwelling units (granny-flats) made for aging in place. These small homes are beautiful, low maintance, energy efficient and universally designed to respond to people’s changing needs. The FabCab is the kind of innovative design which opens up all kinds of solutions in response to the question:

“Where am I going to move to?”

Think of the possibilities…

See:

FabCab

Seniors Sell Large Home and Gain New Life Style  

Down Sizing 

Top 10 Mistakes Made When Designing Small Spaces 

(photo parisparfait.typepad.com)

“If you ever find happiness by hunting for it, you will find it, as the old woman did her lost spectacles, safe on her own nose all the time.”

- Josh Billings 

 Singles Ad

 Destiny’s Hand asks: “Are you a spontaneous dreamer? Are you a lover of life?

Google the terms Senior + Dating and the results total 17, 500, 000, with web site names like; SeniorFriendFinder.com, or PrimeSingles.net, or SuddenlySingleSenior.com or SingleSeniors/match.com.

SeniorFriendFinder.com boasts “Creating NEW relationships“with 457 members live! And 382,179 total members. A member testimonial (w/ photo of 50-something fresh-faced and sassy-short-haircut):

“With SeniorFriendFinder I’m able to start a NEW chapter in my life. I feel like a nervous kid again! ”

 -Tina 831                     

SuddenlySingleSeniors.com covers all topics on dating, from Dating Objectives to Pick-up Lines, to How to Read Personals. There is even a Senior Dating Site Review which weeds through the jungle of senior dating sites for you and picks which is best according to your specific needs. So, for the single senior there is a sea of online options. 

The Divorce Experience: “Gray Divorce”

A recent report from AARP which studied divorce at midlife and beyond, found that as life expectancies increase—so does the divorce rate; as boomers replace their more traditional elders as seniors. The staggering number of sites devoted to finding relationships for older adults is testimony to sheer volume of single seniors.

Respondents in the AARP study ages 40’s-50’s-60’s, found the upside of being single to be situations like having the house and other things the way they wanted them. But, with personal freedom and independence comes with the fear of being alone, named by almost half (45%).

Other drawbacks cited were:

-Being on your own financially

-No one to care for you when illness or disability occurs

-Lack of a sexual relationship (personal touch)

Further, the data showed women are more likely than men to initiate midlife divorces—reasons cited were some form of abuse, infidelity or drugs/alcohol on the part of the male partner.

Termed “gray divorce;” a separation at midlife and beyond usually means leaving a long-term marriage. This is a recent phenomenon and little is understood about the impact on older persons.

Women NOT seeking Men

Divorced men and women who remarried tended to rate their present quality of life higher than those who remain single; but among those who stayed single it’s the women who are most satisfied with being unattached.

Insights into why that might be can be found on the blog The New Old Age (NYT): With Friends Aplenty, Many Widows Choose Singlehood; Profiled in the post is Jane Austin who at 69 became a widow. Her brother warned her about the “casserole brigade” of old guys looking for a nurse…or an insurance settlement. For Austin the advice wasn’t needed, one husband was enough. She knew she would miss her husband, but she had plans to travel, take on a part-time career, and consult—none involved managing another man’s domestic life.

Aging and the Gender Difference

While grieving the lost of a beloved spouse and often never fully recovering from it, studies show many women like Ms. Austin accept and even embrace their new role as a single woman. This is eloquently written about in the book The Girls with the Grandmother Faces by Frances Weaver.

Men who lose their wives on the other hand, don’t fair was well. Old age (for white males particularly) equates to a loss of status and physical prowesses, as well as a shrinking social network.

The Cross Over 

Men start out with advantages of greater financial security, fewer chronic health issues, less complaints of depression—but as they age, men end up with fewer friends, reduced community involvement, and less contact with families; longevity strategies women are much more adept at.

Men over 65 are five times as likely as women to commit suicide. Divorced and widowed men have suicide rates three times higher than that of older men living with a spouse.

So ladies, if you are looking for a “spontaneous dreamer” and “lover of life,” think twice…nothing wrong with “feeling like a nervous kid again,” but you may want to secure your existing network of friends and family first; THEN look for a man who has done the same—or not… 

See:

Gray Divorce 

The Divorce Experience: A Study of Divorce at Midlife and Beyond

 Her Town Too

(photo sodahead.com)

“Don’t worry about aging, it won’t go on forever.”

(Overheard in the lobby of Edina’s 7500 York Cooperative for senior citizens)

The rapidly approaching New Year (& new decade) has me thinking about the passage of time—that, and a comment I heard shouted across the gym this morning:

 “How much time ya got?”

Betty (one of the faithful who exercises daily) was asking Rod how long he had left on his treadmill session. Rod’s quick witted and a character, I knew his answer was not going to be what she expected–I wasn’t disappointed:

“Only God knows, Betty…only God knows.”

That corner of the room exploded in laughter as we all chimed in good-naturedly; then Betty moaned something under her breath, waved him off with a half-frown, and moved begrudgingly on to another piece of equipment.

But this is the existential question: How much time do any of us have?    

My neighbor is a woman in her early 50’s who has been battling what she thought was a lingering seasonal flu for months. The stress of moving an aging mother from a home in California to an assisted living facility in Portland finally exhausted her to the tipping-point of being hospitalized. She found out just before Christmas she has Leukemia and is undergoing treatment over the Holidays. Their home is not in lights this season.

She now ponders the question at year’s end.

How quickly circumstances and priorities change. 

Paradoxically, the absence of lights on my neighbor’s house this year is a more meaningful reminder of what’s important…like stepping off the “treadmill” BEFORE your time is up.

See:

The Late Dan Fogelberg: Auld Lang Syne

The Secret of Life is Enjoying the Passage of Time  

Peace & Love in 2010…

(photo blog.tmcnet.com/tomkeating)

Santa Claus has the right idea: visit people once a year.

-Victor Borge

Ya know Santa isn’t getting any younger…and to think, the old-guy has been climbing down chimneys for as long as I can remember. This got me wondering about the accessibility of our home—and more practically; how could we entertain guests with mobility issues?

“Visitability”

The aging in place movement embraces a concept known as “visitability” which is defined by 3 basic features:

1. One zero-step entrance, at the front, side, or back of the home

2. All main floor doors (bathrooms too) have at least 32 inches of clear passage space

3. A half bath, preferably a full bath, on the main floor

These elements will make your house a “visitability” home, allowing wheelchair or other mobility challenges to be accommodated.

With each passing season and the aging of our loved ones, the idea of “visitability” becomes a reality in our Holiday planning. The gift of receiving others into our homes is what defines the season and it’s where life-time memories are created. So accessibility to the home is fundamental to the experience of Christmas and New Years.

Accommodating Santa

Now, as for a jolly-aging-over-weight guy who has a weakness for soda pop, cookies and milk…I think he too would appreciate a zero-step entrance and wide doorways which would facilitate his girth—and that easy access bathroom might come in handy as well…after all it will be a LONG night!

My Gift to You: (Listen)

John Henry Faulk’s ‘Christmas Story’

See:

“Visitability” defined

Concrete Change

disaboom.com: Michael Graves

Darren Larson on Visitability

…To know one life has breathed easier because you have lived…This is to have succeeded.

-Ralph Waldo Emerson

Joe Loprinzi passed away yesterday at the age of 95. Ironically I posted the story Aging in Place at Loprinzi’s on that same day, not knowing his life was coming to an end.

Joe was a pioneer in the fitness industry and like Jack LaLane; he knew the benefits of working out nearly 50 years before Richard Simmons ever poured himself into spandex.

 Many boomer kids wanted to be like Charles Atlas who promised:

 “I can make you a new man, too, in only 15 minutes a day!”

Playing on childhood insecurities about manhood, and fearing getting sand kicked in their face, hoards of pimple-ridden youngsters sent in for a cure to being skinny. The goal was to look like Joe or Jack. What I came to realize is that it was a life-time commitment.

Joe Loprinzi was a kind man who taught by example and was an ambassador for health who touched many lives directly and indirectly—including mine.

It’s beyond poetic irony but as I write this post I’m off to Loprenzi’s gym to work out…like I do every week. Today I will take a moment of reflection and give thanks to a man whose influence lives on.

Joe Loprinzi succeeded in a life well lived… 

See:

 Tribute to Joe Loprinzi

 (photo Sefrankel)  

The fight is won or lost far away from witnesses – behind the lines, in the gym, and out there on the road, long before I dance under those lights.

-Muhammad Ali

It’s that time of year again…along with the faithful there are lots of new faces at Loprinzi’s gym.

Walt approaches me first this morning with his ear-to-ear grin and reminds me he’s almost 90; “Can you believe it?” he says. “If it wasn’t for 56 years of working out in this gym, I wouldn’t be here today.”

The validity of Walt’s statement is backed up by the visual archeology adorning the walls at Loprinzi’s. It’s a shrine to past weight lifting royalty, which feature Walt as a young muscle man and the cast of usual suspects, including Arnold. These yellowing-glossy-white-black images hang above your head and are paid the kind of reverence afforded to stained glass windows in a cathedral. They act as constant reminders of a rich historical past. 

This gym has every walk of life you can imagine—and some you can’t!

 Jungian Archetypes: Aging

Swiss Psychiatrist and founder of analytical psychology, Carl Jung, describe a continuum of archetypes which begin with youth and end in old age:

1. The Athlete: Youth

     Identify with our bodies, what it can do, how beautiful it is.

2. The Warrior: Young Adult Life

     How much can I get? Who can I defeat?  Who am I better than? And how much stuff do I have?

3. The Statesman/woman: Midlife

     Stop asking what’s in it for me and begin to ask how can I help? Service to others is more important.  

 4. The Spiritualist: Old Age

      Focus now on the relationship with the infinite and non-material.

These Jungian Archetypes are played out at Loprenzi’s and all other gyms across the country each day. And if you’re familiar with gym-culture, you recognize the characters (and yourself) immediately. Like the young Narcissus in training (ipod in ears) who has fallen in love with his immage in the mirror—or the business woman reading MONEY as she squeezes in a workout at lunch.  

The Linear Path to Body Transcendence

Walt has moved through the Archetypal stages; he was the muscle-bound youth obsessed with his body, then the businessman who secured a comfortable retirement, next a statesman who became a caretaker for a wife with Alzheimer’s…and now he’s the spiritualist, focused on connecting with others.   

It occurred to me he has reached body-transcendence, and left body preoccupation behind, unlike so many other older adults who haven’t taken the time to be healthy. On some level, his 56 years of working out now afford him the release of having to focus on an ailing body—and instead invest energy in human relations. 

Ali’s opening quote describes the “private victories” which precede “public victories,” the kind you experience in the gym—that is, if you’re paying attention to more than just your body…

See:

Chris Boone @ Loprinzi’s Gym

 W. Dyer on Jungian Archetypes 

 Analytical Psychology

 Gerotranscedence

(photo current.com)

A departure from Aging in Place (Insights from bright thinkers)  What Matters Now