“Remember we’re all in this alone”
-Lily Tomlin

It was an early crisp morning on a high desert near the Central Oregon town of Sisters. The smell of juniper filled the air as soft sunlight danced on the lonely stretch of road laid out before me—this is my favorite time to run.

Off in the distance the majestic snow-capped Three Sisters Mountains and Mount Bachelor were my only companions; and the bliss of chosen solitude came over me like a kundalini experience.

Several decades before I reluctantly accompanied my uncle down these same dusty roads; it was his search for solitude in the wilderness that brought us there. He loved it…and as for me, a youngster who suffered mild home-sickness and a longing to be with friends, it made me feel lonely. Now ironically, as an adult, I find myself frequently seeking out that same solitude.

Psychic Entropy of Being Alone

Blaise Pascal once said: “All of humanity’s problems stem from man’s inability to sit quietly in a room alone.”
Preliterate societies thought persons who liked to be alone were witches because “normals” would not choose to be alone. In Dobu, if a person had to relieve themselves they always took someone with them into the bush—fearing harm from a witch if caught alone.

The origins of this thinking stem from safety in numbers; a solitary baboon soon will fall prey to leopards or hyenas. Our ancestors realized long ago we are social beings.

In our society, the average person spends about one-third of their waking time alone. And according to the psychologist Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi, people who spend much more or much less time by themselves often have problems. Left on our own we tend to go negative into thoughts of depression and isolation; feeling less happy, less cheerful, less strong, and more passive—and seniors can be even more vulnerable.

Choosing Solitude vs. Forced Loneliness

Some think I’m unusual in that I actually choose solitude—but that is the key, I’m at choice. I don’t feel lonely because at any time I can commune with others. For older adults the choice to be alone may be imposed by socially isolating factors outside of their control. As we get older we have deteriorating social networks caused by family members moving away, retiring from work, death of friends/spouses, and limiting health or financial resources.

The most recent annual data from the Census Bureau reports that 7.5 million senior women and 2.6 million senior men live alone. Aging in place can be a lonely proposition and as a recent study found, loneliness may be the cause of mental decline.

An article by Kathleen Fackelmann, in USA Today, reported on a study which linked loneliness with a higher risk of an Alzheimer’s-like dementia.

“People who described themselves as lonely were twice as likely to develop dementia,” says researcher Robert Wilson of the Rush University Medical Center in Chicago.

Other studies have found that people who are unmarried and socially isolated are at higher risk for dementia, including Alzheimer’s. But this study is one of the first to show a link between loneliness — or the feelings of disconnection from other people — and a higher risk of developing dementia late in life, says Laurel Coleman, a spokeswoman for the Alzheimer’s Association and a geriatrician in Portland, Maine.

Staying Connected

Increasing numbers of older adults are now turning to online social networks like Facebook, Eons, and MySpace to combat loneliness and boredom. Online networks are providing the kind of benefits past social outlets once did—only now they are easier to assemble and maintain; some experts report.

Pioneering sites like SeniorNet (which grew out of a research project funded by the Markle Foundation in 1986 to determine if computers and telecommunications could enhance the lives of older adults) have paved the way for newer sites such as Computer School For Seniors.

These digital outlets provide avenues for human development, creativity, and the primal need to connect with others. More research needs to be done on whether online social connections can help delay the onset of dementia; but one thing is certain, many boomers will be able to sit quietly in a room alone—as long as they have their laptop.

 

See
Computer Savvy Seniors
Living Alone Creatively