So two ideas have been established with the maiden voyage of this blog:
1. As a society (and globally) we’re getting older
2. We want to continue to stay in our beloved homes as we age (aging in place)

These two points were reinforced by an experience I had today visiting a friend in a nursing home. Prior to August, 2007, my friend who is now 93 years old had been living independently in her home with some limited outside assistance.

A series of falls in the home caused her family to place her in a care center/nursing home and sell the dwelling she had lived in for over 50 years. This was a sad situation to watch because her home was her reason for living—as she had expressed this to me on many occasions, including today.

This is a tough situation for everyone involved and I have watched her mental status change rapidly since the move. In the longevity literature this is known as “transfer trauma” when an elderly person is moved from their home the affect is often mental decline. She manages to make the best of the situation and has an unsinkable spirit.

At one point she grasped my hand with her blue-veined-arthritic hands and told me how good it was to touch me, then smiled and looked intently in my eyes. I knew innately what she meant…

I worked my way through nursing school in nursing homes and have spent the last 23 plus years as a nurse. I know the touch of healthcare providers can be instrumental, that is, purposeful, with the objective to accomplish a task. This doesn’t mean they lack empathy or caring, (which might be the perception on the receiving end) it just means many tasks must be accomplished by shifts end and that is often the focus.

Care givers have to be strategic like chess players thinking several moves ahead to anticipate and meet challenges. Caring touch is not mutually exclusive to getting things done, but it can be a casualty to efficiency.

The touch of a loved one or a dear friend has a different quality, it’s palpable, and this was her deeper meaning. It brought to mind a powerful account by Carobeth Laird, a writer who after surgery ended up in a nursing home. Her book “Limbo” is an anthropologist-like account of nursing home life.

Here are several of the main themes from Limbo (1979): A Memoir About Life in a Nursing Home by a Survivor.
Institutional Time: Nursing homes are run for efficiency, not for individuals, shower two times a week, inescapable routines, feelings of residents in an institution verses tenants in their homes
A Room of My Own: Privacy sacrificed, you can’t self-regulate the quality or quantity of stimulation, no intimacy due to shared space
Loss of Identity: Loss of meaningful routines, status stripped away, out of touch with “the world of the living”
Loss of Meaningful Objects: Personal items locked up, limited room decor
Culture and Place-bound: Lack of cultural sensitivity in meals and customs
Aged Not Entirely Human: Talked about in the third person, timeless monotony experienced by “inmates” and just existing, like those that belong to that category of persons under authority who must perform necessary functions in the assigned time
Exposure to Constant Death Turn Over: Residents disappear without explanation

A recent research study, “Aging in Place in America,” commissioned by Clarity® and The EAR Foundation examined the attitudes and anxieties of the nation’s elderly population. The study found that seniors fear loss of independence and moving into a nursing home over death.

Baby boomers also fear for their parents with particular concern about their emotional and physical well-being should they have to enter a nursing home.

The issues brought to light in Laird’s book are stereotypical concerns about institutional care settings. Her experience occurred over three decades ago and although much has changed since then, much has stayed the same.

The good news is the percentage of elderly living in nursing homes has declined. According to recent census data only about 7.4% of Americans aged 75 and older lived in nursing homes in 2006, compared with 8.1% in 2000 and 10.2% in 1990. The downturn reflects the improved health of older adults and the fact that more choices of care available to them.

Seniors and baby boomers prefer aging in place because they desire mastery over their lives and the simple pleasures of being home.

My 93 year old friend reminded me today of the importance of “home” in our lives. As I walked out of the security door and heard it lock behind me I recalled a line from the Eagles:

“Every form of refuge has its price.”

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